Post by Deleted on Aug 5, 2013 21:38:51 GMT 1
I see that the row over the cruise terminal has erupted again:
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Southampton has only two things to recommend it as a cruise port. It has four tides a day and it's not too far from London, both of which are accidents of geography; otherwise it would be just another port in the UK, because it's hardly bursting with history or architecture. The Hampshire councillors need a lesson in history. Many on this site will remember a time when banana boats came into Liverpool, along with vessels carrying other goods. Guess where most of that trade went to? It did a huge amount of damage to Liverpool as a port at the time. Associated British Ports run many of the major ports in the UK, including Southampton (and ironically, Garston, which was where many of the bananas used to be unloaded).
Liverpool has far more to offer as a port in its' own right and the fact that so many large cruise liners are happy to call nowadays is testament to that.
There are no jokes about Southampton as far as I know - this is the nearest thing that I can remember:
A farmer from just outside of Southampton died and went to hell. Once there, the Devil decided to have him split rocks with the temperature set at about 30C. Later that day, the devil came by to see how he was doing and was surprised to find him happily going about his work. When asked why he was so happy, the farmer replied, "Reminds me of the time on my farm clearing the fields to plant new crops. I loved that".
This annoyed the devil, so he turned up the heat another ten degrees, gave the farmer a shovel and had him clean out hell's sewage system. At the end of the day, the devil came back to check on him, and he was smiling even more broadly this time. When asked why he was so happy, the farmer replied, "I love this job. It reminds me of cleaning out the cow shed on my wonderful farm".
The devil was very angry by now, but he had a plan. He sent the farmer back to the rock pile with a hammer twice as heavy as before, but turned the heat down until it was 30 degrees below zero. When the devil came back he was horrified to find the farmer not only smiling from ear to ear, but also singing a song, and dancing a jig. The extremely puzzled devil said "I don't understand it. I have given you three terrible jobs to do for eternity, but you are as happy as if you were in heaven. What's going on?" At this, the farmer replied, "It's a cold day in Hell.
Southampton must have won the F.A. Cup!"
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Southampton has only two things to recommend it as a cruise port. It has four tides a day and it's not too far from London, both of which are accidents of geography; otherwise it would be just another port in the UK, because it's hardly bursting with history or architecture. The Hampshire councillors need a lesson in history. Many on this site will remember a time when banana boats came into Liverpool, along with vessels carrying other goods. Guess where most of that trade went to? It did a huge amount of damage to Liverpool as a port at the time. Associated British Ports run many of the major ports in the UK, including Southampton (and ironically, Garston, which was where many of the bananas used to be unloaded).
Liverpool has far more to offer as a port in its' own right and the fact that so many large cruise liners are happy to call nowadays is testament to that.
There are no jokes about Southampton as far as I know - this is the nearest thing that I can remember:
A farmer from just outside of Southampton died and went to hell. Once there, the Devil decided to have him split rocks with the temperature set at about 30C. Later that day, the devil came by to see how he was doing and was surprised to find him happily going about his work. When asked why he was so happy, the farmer replied, "Reminds me of the time on my farm clearing the fields to plant new crops. I loved that".
This annoyed the devil, so he turned up the heat another ten degrees, gave the farmer a shovel and had him clean out hell's sewage system. At the end of the day, the devil came back to check on him, and he was smiling even more broadly this time. When asked why he was so happy, the farmer replied, "I love this job. It reminds me of cleaning out the cow shed on my wonderful farm".
The devil was very angry by now, but he had a plan. He sent the farmer back to the rock pile with a hammer twice as heavy as before, but turned the heat down until it was 30 degrees below zero. When the devil came back he was horrified to find the farmer not only smiling from ear to ear, but also singing a song, and dancing a jig. The extremely puzzled devil said "I don't understand it. I have given you three terrible jobs to do for eternity, but you are as happy as if you were in heaven. What's going on?" At this, the farmer replied, "It's a cold day in Hell.
Southampton must have won the F.A. Cup!"